Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize