I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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