Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
