; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
