Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
