I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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