Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
