I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You are a genius and a whore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize