This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize