Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
