Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
