Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
