No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
