Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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