I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
