Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Im part way to drunk.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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