I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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