tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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