And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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