Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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