Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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