I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
