Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize