if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
