I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
