Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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