wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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