im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Randomize
