wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
