you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
