i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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