it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
