are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
