Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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