I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
