how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
