super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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