wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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