TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
