she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
this hospital has no fireball
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