Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize