im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
