With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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