I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
