What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's the barista slut.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
