I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
