Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
