Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
