Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
