you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
