No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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