I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I forgot how hot balto sounded
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize