I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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