we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
