if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
