It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Houston, we have a squirter
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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