goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
