I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
