I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
