a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
