respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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