Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
They are going to name an STD after you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
